正在备考考研英语的你，是否还在为2016年考研英语一大作文的写法犯愁？本文精选一篇高分组同学的批改例文，系统梳理考研英语作文万能句型的常考话题与写作框架。透过启航教育老师的逐段点评，你能直观感受高分作文的得分诀窍。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the upper cartoon, there is a child writing his homework and a father playing computer games and saying, "My son, you should study hardly." On the contrary, in the lower portrayal, the child and his father are both studing hardly. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that a good example is the brush that paints a bright future, while a bad example is the shackle that hinders progress.

The phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, a good example can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fullfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, a bad example is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, a good example is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of bad example to ensure our growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：upper

批改：left左边的

原文：hardly

批改：hard是努力地，hardly几乎不

原文：lower

批改：right

原文：studing

批改：studying

原文：hardly

批改：hard

原文：n the upper cartoon, there is a child writing his homework and a father playing computer games and saying, "My son, you should study hardly." On the contrary, in the lower portrayal, the child and his father are both studing hardly. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that a good example is the brush that paints a bright future, while a bad example is the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：The phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, a good example can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fullfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, a bad example is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：能够通过正反两方面进行论述来突出论点，能够运用逻辑关系词，使得句子之间衔接较为连贯。

原文：In brief, a good example is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of bad example to ensure our growth stays on course.

批改：能够提出自己的建议，起到了总结和再次呼应主题的作用。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：17/20

内容切题，准确全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误以及区分词性，如hard和hardly；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，语法基础还不错。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好。继续加油。

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