考研英语作文失分点多、提分空间大，一直是2016年考研英语一备考生核心痛点之一。本文围绕考研英语一作文真题话题，给出一篇经过启航教育老师精细批改的高分范文，文中不仅有逐句批注，还附有可复制的考研英语一高分写作模板。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

As shown in the picture, there is a man sitting on the sofa and asking his son to study hand. On contrary, in the right-hand, the man is working concentratedly and saying nothing. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that force of example is the brush that paints a bright future, while not set a good example is the shackle that hinders progress.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particulary significant. First and foremost, the power of example can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming, What is more, Not set an example not only hinders one"s success, but also acts as an Achilles" heel that can turn a final step towards heaven into a stepping stone towards hell.

In brief, the power of the example is the catalyst for societal and personal development. from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice, additionally, we must be acutely awaree o

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：the

批改：a

原文：hand

批改：hard

原文：particulary

批改：particularly

原文： awaree

批改：aware

原文：On contrary,

批改：On the contrary

原文：right-hand

批改：这是个形容词，后面加名词cartoon

原文：As shown in the picture

批改：与后面“右图”对应，这里也要说“左图”

原文： set a

批改：setting

原文：,

批改：句号

原文：set

批改：setting

原文：o

批改：句子不完整，后面再补充of the negative impacts of not setting examples

原文：As shown in the picture, there is a man sitting on the sofa and asking his son to study hand. On contrary, in the right-hand, the man is working concentratedly and saying nothing. Evidently, the picture intends to convey to readers that force of example is the brush that paints a bright future, while not set a good example is the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：对比两幅漫画中父亲的行为差异，提炼 “榜样的力量” 的核心寓意，画面描述逻辑基本清晰

原文：This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particulary significant. First and foremost, the power of example can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming, What is more, Not set an example not only hinders one"s success, but also acts as an Achilles" heel that can turn a final step towards heaven into a stepping stone towards hell.

批改：从 “榜样的积极影响” 和 “缺乏榜样的危害” 两个维度论证，角度合理

原文：In brief, the power of the example is the catalyst for societal and personal development. from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice, additionally, we must be acutely awaree o

批改：总结观点并呼吁重视榜样力量

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：11/20

1.题目要求：字数符合题目要求。文章需要分析图画并表明观点，符合题目要求。

2.语言表达：语言表达清晰，但存在一些语法错误和拼写错误，考生需注意。

3.内容层面：基本包含题目要求的内容。

4.修改意见：文章整体较完整，结构较为清晰，按照描述漫画、阐述哲理和提出呼吁的顺序进行写作。然而存在一些语法错误和拼写错误，考生需多加注意。建议考生在写作时认真检查，注意语法和单词的准确性。

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