思想品质、教育文化是考研英语大作文的高频命题方向，本文呈现的2024年考研英语二批改范例正是聚焦这一主旨。启航教育老师透过文章结构、衔接表达和结尾升华三方面，逐段展示了一篇考研英语写作冲刺高分范文的诞生过程。

一、2024年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the chart below. In your essay, you should1) describe and interpret the chart, and 2) give your comments. Write your answer in about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2024年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly displays the proportional breakdown of the main goals of the students in labor-practice course at a certain college. The study of relevant knowledge students take the lead at 91.3%, followed by the elevated practical skills students at 84.8%. In addition, factors such as students with improved cooperation ability and students who feel relaxed are also considered, accounting for 32.6% and 54.4%.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.To start with, as the conductor orchestrating the symphony of changes, our government has made great efforts to build a sound education system, enabling college students to have ample opportunities for further education. Additionally, as the saying goes, " On life"s stage, pressure is always present." Nowadays, university students are compelled to confront immense pressure, and as a result, studying relevant knowledge has emerged as their significant choice for utilizing leisure time.

What about future trends? I"m confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of students studying relevant knowledge, serve as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： proportional breakdown

批改：改为 percentage breakdown，搭配更合适

原文：goals

批改：改为 gains 收获

原文： in labor-practice course

批改：改为 from practical labor courses 更合适

原文：The study of relevant knowledge students

批改：此处改为 Studying relevant knowledge 更简洁准确

原文：take

批改：动名词作主语，谓语动词要用三单形式，改为 takes

原文：the elevated practical skills students

批改：此处将 收获的内容写出即可，不用写…… 的学生，改为 elevating practical skills

原文：students with improved cooperation ability

批改：改为 strengthening teamwork abilities

原文：students who feel relaxed

批改：改为 feeling relieved

原文：54.4%

批改：可在数字后面加上…… ,respectively 表示分别地

批改：开头段表达不错，清晰地阐述了图表内容 ，注意语法问题

批改：语法正确

批改：内容表达很好，但是一定要提到图表中的元素，此处的原因是在分析哪个元素

批改：内容表达很好，但是在分析原因时我们多选择占比最大的一至两个元素进行剖析。“学习了相关知识” 占比91.3%，必须进行原因分析。此外，我们还可以从 “提升了动手能力” 或 “感觉到心情舒畅” 的角 度进行分析，一定要提到图表中的元素，此处的原因是在分析哪个元素

原文：the choices of students studying relevant knowledge

批改：此处不只是学习了相关的知识，改为 university students’ gains from practical courses

原文：serve

批改：改为 serving, 此处为 状语

批改：结尾段内容表达不错

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：10分/ 15分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，表明的个人观点与图表的内容是贴合的

语言表达：存在几处语法问题，词汇表达不错，一些句式表达也很好

结构逻辑：文章的结构完整清晰，内容也比较丰富具体，但是在分析原因时一定要提到图表中的元素，要写清楚

修改建议：语法和内容表达问题结合作文批注仔细修改，要细心，之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，提高自己的表达，加油！

启航教育考研英语批改服务累计已帮助众多考生实现写作提分。本文精解的2024年考研英语二范文，正是来自启航教育写作批改的真实案例。想要获得同样专业的批改，扫描页面二维码或在线咨询即可预约考研英语写作冲刺免费批改名额。