启航教育作为考研英语培训领域的知名品牌，每年都会整理发布当年的考研英语作文模板高分范文。本文呈现的2016年考研英语一大作文批改例文中，每一处失分点都已被老师精准订正，是2027考生不可错过的写作资料。

一、考研英语一2016年大作文题目

考研英语一2016年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following pictures. In your essay, you should1) describe the pictures briefly, 2) interpret the meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2016年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, smoking and watching TV, while saying his son to study. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, the father and his son studied together. Evidenty, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future, while nagative examples are the shackle that hinders progress.

The phenomenon is though-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, positive examples from parents can nurture children’s souls, and promote their growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, negative examples from parents is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s process, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and prventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In berief, positive examples is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, We should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure children’s growth stays on course.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：saying

批改：telling 告诉

原文：studied

批改：现在时即可，改成are studying

原文：In the left-hand cartoon, there is a father, smoking and watching TV, while saying his son to study. On the contrary, in the right-hand portrayal, the father and his son studied together. Evidenty, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that positive examples are the brush that paints a bright future, while nagative examples are the shackle that hinders progress.

批改：能够完整全面的描述出图画中的现象，并能够直接点明作文的主题。

原文：though

批改：thought

原文：process

批改：progress

原文：prventing

批改：preventing

原文：The phenomenon is though-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. On the one hand, positive examples from parents can nurture children’s souls, and promote their growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self-consuming. On the other hand, negative examples from parents is like a heavy chain that hinders children’s process, leaving them with a negative outlook on life and prventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：能够通过正反两方面进行论述来突出论点，能够运用逻辑关系词，使得句子之间衔接较为连贯。

原文： is

批改：注意主谓一致，改成are

原文：In berief, positive examples is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, We should actively support and advocate this practice; additionally, we must be acutely aware of the detrimental effects of negative examples to ensure children’s growth stays on course.

批改：起到了呼吁和号召的作用，紧扣主题，语言连贯完整。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：16/20

内容切题，全面的描绘出了图画中的内容。词汇方面，注意避免拼写错误；句式方面，句子结构完整连贯；语法方面，注意描述图画的内容时时态正确以及主谓一致问题。逻辑结构清晰完整，论证较为充分。能够运用一些逻辑关系词来连接句子，结构清晰。

修改建议：可以看出作文完成的非常认真，无论是内容的充分性还是语言的逻辑结构都特别的清晰，值得表扬。如果能够再注意避免以上的一些小的细节问题会更好。继续加油。

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