2016年考研英语二大作文属于典型的图表作文，要求考生准确描述数据变化并深入解读现象。本文精解的这篇饼图批改范例，完整覆盖考研英语二作文模板常考图表的描述思路，是考研英语图表类作文的标杆范例。

一、考研英语二2016年大作文题目

考研英语二2016年大作文Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and2) give your comments.You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET.

二、考研英语二2016年大作文批改例文

The pie chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of college students" travel aim .enjoy the scenery takes the lead at a 37%,followed by relieve stress at 33%.Additionally, factors such as other, develop capacity,and make friends with sb eare also considered,accounting for 15%,6%,and9%,respectively.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.To start with.In the wake of the high-speed advancement of society,college students"s attitudes towards of travel aim have undergone significant changes,college students are no longer content with mere material satisfaction;they also pursue spiritual enjoyment.This explains why an increasing number of college students choose go out to enjoy the scenery and relieve stress rather than making friends and other things。In addition,as we all know,the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering college students behaviors and choices.consequently,an increasing students of individuals have started paying more attention to health.considering these factors,the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

What about future trends?I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of college students,serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era,and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： at a 37%

批改：at a 37% -> at 37% (删除不定冠词 a)

原文：lieve stress a

批改：relieve stress -> relieving stress (与前面 Enjoying... 保持平行结构)

原文：s other, develop capacity,and

批改：other, develop capacity,and make friends with sb eare -> others, developing self-reliance, and making friends are (develop capacity 表意不清，可改为 developing self-reliance (培养自立) 或 cultivating independence；make friends with sb 过于口语化，直接用 making friends 即可；eare 是 are 的拼写错误)

原文：chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of college students" travel aim .enjoy the scenery takes the lead at a 37%,followed by relieve stress at 33%.Additionally, factors such as other, develop capacity,and make friends with sb eare also considered,accounting for 15%,6%,and9%,respectively.

批改：本段准确地列出了所有数据，完成了图表描述的核心任务。

原文：.To start with.In the wake of the high-speed advancement of society,college students"s att

批改：To start with.In -> To start with, in (标点错误，with 后应为逗号) college students"s -> college students" (所有格形式错误，以s结尾的复数名词所有格直接加撇号)

原文：wards of travel

批改：attitudes towards of travel aim -> attitudes toward travel

原文：oose go out to en

批改：choose go out -> choose to go out (语法错误，choose to do sth)

原文：college students behaviors

批改：college students behaviors -> college students" behaviors (所有格缺失)

原文：an increasing students of indivi

批改：an increasing students of individuals -> an increasing number of students 或 a growing number of individuals

原文： core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows.To start with.In the wake of the high-speed advancement of society,college students"s attitudes towards of travel aim have undergone significant changes,college students are no longer content with mere material satisfaction;they also pursue spiritual enjoyment.This explains why an increasing number of college students choose go out to enjoy the scenery and relieve stress rather than making friends and other things。In addition,as we all know,the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering college students behaviors and choices.consequently,an increasing students of individuals have started paying more attention to health.considering these factors,the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

批改：本段从“精神追求”和“疫情影响”两个角度分析原因，思路是好的。

原文：t about future trends?I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choices of college students,serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era,and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

批改：结尾段非常精彩！

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：11分

总评：

这篇作文显示出您对图表作文的架构已经有了很好的把握，并且具备使用复杂句式和高阶词汇的潜力，这非常值得肯定。

1. 语言方面：

语言运用能力是扎实的，句子通顺，能正确使用一些复杂的语法结构。主要的提升空间在于细节的精准打磨，例如名词所有格、动词不定式以及介词的固定搭配。这些看似微小的错误累积起来会影响文章的纯正感。同时，请注意保持主语和动词形式在语法上的一致性。

2. 结构方面：

三段式逻辑推进非常清晰、稳妥。在内容上，可以进一步提升论述的严谨性与相关性。例如，在引入“疫情”作为论据时，可以更直接地阐明它如何具体影响了图表中所展示的旅游偏好。

总的修改建议：

精细检查语法细节：专门花时间排查所有格、动词搭配和介词使用等高频语法点。

在提出每一个原因后，确保它能直接、有力地解释图表中的具体数据。

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