一篇高分的考研英语大作文，常常具备结构清晰、句式多变、词汇地道三大特点。本文精解的2011年考研英语二批改范例，每一段都体现了这三大要素，启航教育考研英语二写作技巧教研组对该范文进行了详细的亮点标注。

一、2011年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2011年大作文Write an essay based on the following chart. In your writing, you should 1) interpret the chart and 2) give your comments. You should write at least 150 words. Write your essay on ANSWER SHEET 2. (15 points)

二、2011年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly decpits market share of some inland car in the car market from 2008 to 2009. In 2008, the percentage of inland cars was approximately 25%, but by 2009, the rate had gradually risen to 32%. Meanwhile, the proportion of Japanese cars experienced a low deline of 10% during the same period. Simultuneously, the percentage of American cars remained stable and steady.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized us follow. To start with, against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development, the younger generation, particularly those born in the 1990s and 2008, are accustomed to using inland cars and have become the primary consumer group. In addition, Chinese cociety is undergoing an extensie and profound transformation. The fundamental reason for this pheromenon is the significant progress made by China"s manufacturing industry in responding to these change. Considering these factors, the depicted plenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the precentage of inland car is a clear sign of the social improvement and will steadly in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of American cars will likely continue to remain relatively stable.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：decpits

批改：改为 depicts

原文：some inland car

批改：改为 different automobile brands

原文：The bar chart clearly decpits market share of some inland car in the car market from 2008 to 2009.

批改：首段概括图表内容可以参考如下 “The bar chart clearly depicts the change of the market shares among Chinese, Japanese and American automobile brands from 2008 to 2009.”

原文：inland cars

批改：国产汽车品牌可以说 Chinese automobile brand

原文：approximately

批改：描述图表时运用一些小词如 approximately/nearly/around等，有利于提高表达的准确度

原文：deline

批改：正确写法为 decline

原文：experienced a low deline of

批改：多储备表变化的名词、动词、形容词、副词或词组在写作过程中会很有帮助，名词包括像 growth/reduction，动词像 increase/drop，副词和动词搭配如 slightly decrease，运用起来让人眼前一亮

原文：low

批改：变化不大可以用 slight

原文：Simultuneously

批改：正确写法为 Simultaneously

原文：stable and steady

批改：stable和steady意思相近，删去其中一个

原文：The bar chart clearly decpits market share of some inland car in the car market from 2008 to 2009. In 2008, the percentage of inland cars was approximately 25%, but by 2009, the rate had gradually risen to 32%. Meanwhile, the proportion of Japanese cars experienced a low deline of 10% during the same period. Simultuneously, the percentage of American cars remained stable and steady.

批改：首段概括了图表内容，较准确地描述了图中各项数据和它们之间的变化，需要注意区分不同图表类型（柱状图/折线图/饼状图等）及应当如何描述；除此之外，丰富用词，转换词性，像decline就既可以作名词，又可以作动词，掌握一个词的不同用法有利于变换表达方式，这样文章语言也就不会那么受限了

原文：us follow

批改：正确写法为 as follows

原文：inland cars

批改：可以说 domestic cars

原文：cociety

批改：正确写法为 society

原文：extensie

批改：正确写法为 extensive

原文：pheromenon

批改：改为 phenomenon

原文：manufacturing industry

批改：可以说 manufacturing / car manufacturing / automobile industry

原文：in responding to

批改：还可以用 in response to

原文：The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized us follow. To start with, against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development, the younger generation, particularly those born in the 1990s and 2008, are accustomed to using inland cars and have become the primary consumer group. In addition, Chinese cociety is undergoing an extensie and profound transformation. The fundamental reason for this pheromenon is the significant progress made by China"s manufacturing industry in responding to these change. Considering these factors, the depicted plenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

批改：分析产生这种趋势或现象的原因，给出的第一个原因是经济发展，人们的购买力提升，年轻人成为国产汽车的主要消费群体。第二个原因是制造业的蓬勃发展。除了本段论述的国家和社会层面，建议可以拓展更多主体，还可以从企业和个人的角度入手。需要注意的是：一部分句子可以尝试用被动语态更简洁，如 “xxx has been boosted/elevated”；二可以有意识地替换表达，像 people 就可以用 consumer 或 resident 等各种身份去指代

原文：precentage

批改：正确写法为 percentage

原文：inland car

批改：domestic automobiles

原文：the

批改：删去

原文：steadly

批改：正确写法为 steadily，这里预测未来国产汽车品牌的市场份额仍将继续扩大，用steadily increase

原文：likely

批改：删去

原文：What about future trends? I am confident that the precentage of inland car is a clear sign of the social improvement and will steadly in the following decades. In contrast, the proportion of American cars will likely continue to remain relatively stable.

批改：结尾除了预测，建议可以对作为市场主体的国产汽车制造商或汽车企业提出展望或“怎么做”的一些建议，如引进更多技术提升产品质量

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：7/15

1）内容上：概括了图表内容，数据及其变化描述较准确；

2）语言上：出现部分词汇和语法错误，表达可以更丰富；

3）结构上：有自己的行文角度，但未能全面展开论述；

4）学习建议：

有待提升的主要有三方面，一是语言上多积累表变化的动词、表程度的副词和描述最大最小值的一些短语，描述图表会更准确和形象；二是内容上可以从国家-社会-市场/企业-个人等主体展开，按“是什么（给观点）——为什么（析原因）——怎么做（结尾提措施/做法）”的逻辑展开，这样主干各要点更清晰明了；三针对现象-原因型文章，主要分析是什么原因导致该种趋势或现象的发生，写作过程中按各个主体的角度串联论述逻辑会让文章更有条理，如：由于经济发展，综合国力提升——一方面人们购买力提升，另一方面国产品牌有着自身优势广受欢迎，从而使人们对国产品牌更有信心——因此国产汽车品牌份额呈持续上升

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