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考研英语一2013年大作文失分点批改

本文是一份经过启航教育整理的2013年考研英语一大作文批改资料,对照考研英语作文话题写作框架与评分标准进行精细讲解。无论是词汇句式、段落衔接还是逻辑展开,本文都能为考研英语考生提供可直接套用的范例。

一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目

考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文

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请在各题目的答题区域内作答,超出答题区的答案无效, 2013大 Section I Writing Part B

52. The animated drawing reminds its readers of the significance of choos ing. As is vividly protrayed in the though-provoking drawing, thousands of graduated students who hesitated to choose their future roads which lead them to virous life such as go aboad, establsh company as well as participate prograduated examor public examine. The photo, at the first glimpse, seem to be easy however the deep meaning behind it"s worth prodeing.

Considering the factors of this situation. it is necessary to point out the for reading consequences behind it. First of all, these students are afraid of failure so as to escape to be responsibility to themselpfies. However, In my perspective, nomatter what type of your choice, it will leads a road full of fruitful meaning to creating pasitive future. As Ming rao, a basketball pleayer, puts it, give up abroading to focus on competitions. What"s more, every choice ouns its Two-sided. Which is coneluctive for students to suggle without any circumstances. The proportion of college studen’s choice ypon graduation is on rise focus. Faced with these date, the implementation of the measures of assisting collage student"s choice upon graduation by the goverment should be under way

Only in this way should our future life become more and more real and meaningful as well as graduated students will be a leader to bring our country a bright future

请在各题目的答题区域内作答,超出答题区的答案无效;

第4页(共4页)

三、考研英语作文批改

原文:protrayed in the

批改:“choos ing” 应为 “choosing”;“protrayed” 应为 “portrayed”。

原文:thousands of gradu

批改:第二句 “thousands of graduated students who hesitated...” 是一个不完整的句子,只有主语没有谓语。可以改为:“..., thousands of graduating students hesitate among future paths such as going abroad, starting a business, or taking postgraduate/civil service exams.”

原文: virous life

批改:“virous” 是 “various” 的拼写错误;“prograduated examor public examine” 想表达的是“研究生考试或公务员考试”,应为 “postgraduate entrance exams or civil service exams”。

原文:seem to be easy however th

批改:最后一句中,“seem” 主语是 “photo”,应用第三人称单数 “seems”;“it"s” 是 “it is” 的缩写,这里应为所有格 “its”;“prodeing” 可能是 “probing” (探索) 的拼写错误。

原文:e animated drawing reminds its readers of the significance of choos ing. As is vividly protrayed in the though-provoking drawing, thousands of graduated students who hesitated to choose their future roads which lead them to virous life such as go aboad, establsh company as well as participate prograduated examor public examine. The photo, at the first glimpse, seem to be easy however the deep meaning behind it"s worth prodeing.

批改:你准确地认识到漫画是关于毕业生面临选择的重要性,这个开头方向是对的

原文:sidering the factors of this situation. it is necessary to point out the for reading consequences behind it. First of all, these students are afraid of failure so as to escape to be responsibility to themselpfies. However, In my perspective, nomatter what type of your choice, it will leads a road full of fruitful meaning to creating pasitive future. As Ming rao, a basketball pleayer, puts it, give up abroading to focus on competitions. What"s more, every choice ouns its Two-sided. Which is coneluctive for students to suggle without any circumstances. The proportion of college studen’s choice ypon graduation is on rise focus. Faced with these date, the implementation of the measures of assisting collage student"s choice upon graduation by the goverment should be under way

批改:本段存在大量的拼写错误,严重影响了意思的表达。例如:“for reading” (far-reaching), “themselpfies” (themselves), “nomatter” (no matter), “leads” (lead, 因为前面有will), “pasitive” (positive), “pleayer” (player), “abroading” (studying abroad), “ouns” (owns), “coneluctive” (conducive), “suggle” (struggle), “studen’s” (students"), “ypon” (upon), “date” (data), “collage” (college), “goverment” (government)。

原文:idering the factors of this situation. it is necessary to point out the for reading consequences behind it. First of all, these students are afraid of failure so as to escape to be responsibility to themselpfies. However, In my perspective, nomatter what type of your choice, it will leads a road full of fruitful meaning to creating pasitive future. As Ming rao, a basketball pleayer, puts it, give up abroading to focus on competitions. What"s more, every choice ouns its Two-sided. Which is coneluctive for students to suggle without any circumstances. The proportion of college studen’s choice ypon graduation is on rise focus. Faced with these date, the implementation of the measures of assisting collage student"s choice upon graduation by the goverment should be under w

批改:你尝试从多个角度分析问题,并引用了例子,这体现了你思维的活跃度。这个段落的主要挑战在于大量的拼写错误和较为松散的逻辑结构,这使得你一些很好的想法没能清晰地表达出来。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分:15分

总分与总评

这篇作文基本完成了试题规定的任务,但在语法结构、词汇准确性和内容连贯性上存在较多问题,影响了理解。

总评与修改建议:

你的思考非常积极,并且有很强的表达欲望。你能想到引用名人名言,能想到选择的两面性,还能联想到政府的作用。

打好语言基础:我建议你可以先放慢写作速度,把重点放在核心词汇的正确拼写和基本句型的完整结构上。你可以先尝试写出语法正确、表意清晰的简单句。在动笔前,先确保高频词(如government, students, future, choice)的拼写是正确的。

理清论述逻辑:在写之前,可以先列一个简单的提纲。比如,第一段描述画面;第二段分析学生内心(害怕失败、选择的两面性);第三段提出建议(个人如何做、政府如何帮助)。想清楚每一段的核心任务,这样写出来就不会显得跳跃。

本文的2013年考研英语一高分范文只是启航教育考研英语作文话题写作锦囊的一小部分精华。2027考研英语斌哥写作锦囊冲刺抢分班由斌哥主讲,配套锦囊妙句、写作模板、真题批改、精品图书与社群服务,是考研英语写作冲刺的不二之选。

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上一篇:考研英语一2017年大作文实例分析与批改 下一篇:考研英语一2016年大作文写作方向与示例

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