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2021年考研英语二大作文真题与例文批改

2021年考研英语二大作文属于典型的图表作文,要求考生准确描述数据变化并深入解读现象。本文精解的这篇柱状图批改范例,完整覆盖考研英语二写作冲刺常考图表的描述思路,是考研英语图表类作文的标杆范例。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the forms of the citizens" physical exercise in a certain city. The people who exercise alone take the lead at 54.3%, followed by those who exercise with friends at 47.7%, Additionally, other options such as exercising with family and team are also included , accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, Against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development, the younger generation, particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s, are accustomed to living alone, That is why most people are used to exercising alone. In addition, As we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choice, Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started working out alone. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsuprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choice of the most citizens, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文:exercising with

批改:“exercising with family and team” 中, “team” 前面最好加上 “in a” 或 “with a”,使表达更完整,即 “exercising with family and in a team”。

原文:e bar chart clearly displays the percentage breakdown of the forms of the citizens" physical exercise in a certain city. The people who exercise alone take the lead at 54.3%, followed by those who exercise with friends at 47.7%, Additionally, other options such as exercising with family and team are also included , accounting for 23.9% and 15.8%, respectively.

批改:你准确地提取并呈现了所有核心数据,排序合理,并且熟练地使用了“take the lead”、“followed by”、“accounting for”等地道表达,出色地完成了描述任务。

原文: are accustomed to livi

批改:第一个原因中,“living alone” (独居) 和 “exercising alone” (独自锻炼) 之间的直接因果关系可以表达得更严谨一些。独居可能更倾向于独自锻炼,但并非必然。可以稍微调整逻辑,例如:“...are accustomed to independent lifestyles, which naturally extends to their exercise habits.”

原文:d choice, Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started working out alone. Con

批改:“choice” 应该用复数 “choices”,以对应人们行为的多方面改变。 “unsuprising” 拼写有误,应为 “unsurprising”。

原文:e core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, Against the backdrop of our country"s rapid and dynamic development, the younger generation, particularly those born in the 1990s and 2000s, are accustomed to living alone, That is why most people are used to exercising alone. In addition, As we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choice, Consequently, an increasing number of individuals have started working out alone. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsuprising.

批改:原因分析段的结构非常出色!你从“代际生活方式”和“新冠疫情”两个宏观且切题的视角进行论证,思路开阔且具有说服力。特别是能将社会背景与个人行为联系起来,体现了你优秀的分析能力。目前,我们可以努力让逻辑链条更严谨,并修正一些小的语法和拼写问题。

原文:he most citize

批改:the most citizens” 是不正确的表达,应为 “most citizens” 或 “the choices of most citizens”。

原文:t about future trends? I am confident that the above statistical figures accurately and truthfully reflect the choice of the most citizens, serving as a microcosm of the changes in the era, and will likely remain relatively stable in the following decades.

批改:你对未来趋势做出了合理的预测,并成功地将个人选择与时代变迁联系起来

四、考研英语作文评分

得分:12分

总分与总评

这篇作文内容完整,结构清晰,逻辑连贯,有效地完成了试题规定的任务。运用了丰富的语法结构和词汇。存在个别语言错误,但不影响理解。

总评与修改建议:

你这篇作文最让老师欣赏的地方在于论证视角的成熟度。能从社会发展和重大公共事件的高度来分析个人行为模式,这使得你的文章立意深刻。

在提出一个原因(如“独居”)后,可以再思考一下它是否必然导致结果(“独自锻炼”)。通过增加“which naturally extends to...”这样的解释。

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