想在短时间内显著提升考研英语写作分数？研读高分范文并接受专业批改是高效的路径。本文整理的2021年考研英语一批改范例，从图表描述、原因分析到建议评论，每一段都渗透着考研英语写作技巧热点话题的得分要点。

一、2021年考研英语一大作文题目

考研英语一2021年大作文52. Directions: Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the picture below. In your essay, you should1)describe the picture briefly, 2)interpret the implied meaning, and 3)give your comments. Write your answer on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、2021年考研英语一大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there is a boy，wearing theMonkey King costume and saying this father,"Dad，lots of my classmates believe learning opera is boring,",while his father encourages him to stick to his hobbies. Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey the readers that is stick to oneself that plays a important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand, stick to oneself can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self- fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self -consuming.On the other hand, simply follow others is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

In brief, sticking to oneself is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we create a happier life.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：boy，wearing theMo

批改：“boy，wearing” 应为 “boy, wearing”；“theMonkey King” 应分开为 “the Monkey King”；直接引语前的逗号使用不当。

原文：this fath

批改：“saying this father” 是 “saying to his father” 的笔误。

原文：convey the reade

批改：漫画寓意的概括很准确，但句子结构有误：“convey the readers that is stick to oneself” 应改为 “convey to readers that it is sticking to oneself that...”。

原文： a important

批改：“a important” 应改为 “an important”

原文：s shown in the cartoon, there is a boy，wearing theMonkey King costume and saying this father,"Dad，lots of my classmates believe learning opera is boring,",while his father encourages him to stick to his hobbies. Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey the readers that is stick to oneself that plays a important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

批改：你成功描述了漫画中的关键对话和情节，并清晰提炼出核心寓意

原文： stick to oneself can ignit

批改：两个分论点中的动词形式需要调整：“stick to oneself” 和 “simply follow others” 作为主语，应用动名词形式 “Sticking to oneself” 和 “Simply following others”。

原文：hinders childr

批改：“hinders” 是 “hinders” 的拼写错误。

原文：is phenomenon is thought provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant.On the one hand, stick to oneself can ignite our creativity, and promote personal growth and self- fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful, rather than being self -consuming.On the other hand, simply follow others is like a heavy chain that hinders children"s progress, depriving them of the ability to think independently and preventing them from shining brightly in future society.

批改：本段从“坚持自我的益处”和“盲目从众的危害”正反两方面论证，结构清晰，思辨性强。所使用的比喻和词汇也很有力。

原文：rief, sticking to oneself is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. Therefore, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we create a happier life.

批改：结尾段总结精炼，立意高远，并发出了积极的呼吁，圆满地完成了任务。

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：15分

总分与总评

这篇作文内容切题，结构完整，层次清晰，并使用了丰富的语法结构和高级词汇。存在少数语言错误。

总评与修改建议：

这篇作文最让老师欣赏的是你严谨的辩证结构和地道的修辞运用。你不仅能构建清晰的论证框架，还能运用“catalyst”、“heavy chain”等精准的比喻，并能够从正反两方面进行思辨，这已经达到了相当优秀的水平。

巩固动词形式的准确性：请特别注意当动词（或动词短语）在句中作主语时，要使用其动名词形式（-ing形式）。这是通往更高分数段需要巩固的一个关键语法点。

在完成写作后，可以快速检查一下标点符号和复合词的连字符使用。

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