本文整理了2011年考研英语一大作文真题原文及高分批改例文，是备考考研英语写作冲刺的实用素材。考研英语作文在考研英语中占据重要分值，历年真题范文能够帮助考生快速把握命题规律与评分要点，下面让我们一同走进这篇批改范文。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

2011年大作文

As is vividly expressed in the figure above. In front of us stay a boat in a lake, and two teenagers stay the boat, they throw rubbish in the lake, with some rubbish in the lake. The purpose of the drawing seems to remind teenagers and youngsters that protect environment in their travel time.

There appear a host of factors to give rise to my viewpoint. To begin with, for instance, my hometown is a very famous tourist place, however, a lot of tourists throw rubbish in hy hometown, so the environment is very bad, that it is a major challenge for the local government. What"s more, the majority of people believe that protect environment will provide them with a comfortable platform to enjoy myself, which may put them in a relaxing environment during their travels. Last but not least, It is well known that protect environment play a central role in maintain nautural ecological balance.

It is not difficult to draw the conducion that enough attention must be turned to protect environment by ourselves and our community. For one thing, it is imperative for the government to make strict laws to protect environment. For another, we should also improve children and adults" awareness of protect environment. In this way, hopefully, we may have a much more wonderful future.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：in the lake,

批改：“in a lake”→“on a lake”（“在湖面上” 用介词 “on”，考研介词考点）

原文：stay the boat

批改：“stay the boat”→“are on the boat”（“在船上” 地道表达，补充介词 “on”，考研搭配考点）

原文：in the lake

批改：“in the lake”→“into the water”（避免重复 “lake”，“throw into” 为固定搭配，考研词汇多样性）

原文：eenagers and youngsters

批改：“teenagers and youngsters”→“young people”（语义重复，“young people” 为泛指，更简洁，考研简洁表达原则）；

原文：There appear a host of factors to give rise to my viewpoint.

批改：考研级优化：Several factors can account for this viewpoint.

原文：hy

批改：拼写错误，my

原文：protect environment

批改：“that protect environment”→“that protecting the environment”（宾语从句主语需用动名词，考研语法核心考点）

原文：relaxing environment

批改：“relaxing environment”→“relaxed mood”（“放松的心情” 比 “放松的环境” 更贴合 “享受旅行” 的语境，考研语义精准性）

原文：It

批改：修正大小写（“It”→“it”，句首已大写，从句首字母小写，考研书写规范）

原文：protect environment

批改：“protect environment”→“protecting the environment”（动名词作主语，补充定冠词 “the”，考研语法 + 冠词考点）

原文：nautural

批改：“nautural”→“natural”（拼写错误，“自然的” 正确拼写，考研基础词汇）

原文：conducion

批改：“conducion”→“conclusion”（拼写错误，“得出结论” 为 “draw the conclusion”，考研固定短语）

原文：ur community

批改：“our community”→“our communities”（复数表泛指 “各个社区”，考研名词单复数考点）。

原文：must be turned to protect environment

批改：“must be turned to protect environment”→“must pay sufficient attention to protecting the environment”（“pay attention to” 为固定搭配，“to” 为介词，后接动名词，替代生硬的被动语态，考研搭配 + 语法考点）

原文：make strict laws

批改：“make strict laws”→“formulate strict laws and regulations”（“制定法律法规” 地道表达，“formulate” 为考研高频词，比 “make” 更正式）

原文：of protect environment

批改：“of protect environment”→“of environmental protection”

原文：more wonderful future

批改：“much more wonderful”→“more beautiful and sustainable”（“sustainable” 为 “可持续的”，贴合环保主题，考研主题相关词汇，提升表达深度）

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：11/20

对2011年考研英语一大作文的精读，让我们再一次感受到考研英语写作冲刺写作的命题趋势和得分要点。启航教育会持续发布考研英语写作干货，欢迎添加在线咨询老师，领取2027写作预测话题与范文精解，预约免费批改名额。