本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2013年考研英语一高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注，对照考研英语写作模板热点话题与评分细则，你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。

一、考研英语一2013年大作文题目

考研英语一2013年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly, 2) interpret its intended meaning, and3) give your comments. You should write neatly on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2013年大作文批改例文

As shown in the cartoon, there are many graduates standing on the road and making choice among seeking for work, applying for postgraduate, going to foreign coutries, and being a boss. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that they are our dreams that play an important and positive role both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant. First and foremost, good and appropriate dreams can ignite our creatiuty, and promote personal growth and self-fulfillment, thus making life rewarding and meaningful rather than being self-consuming. What is more, in modein society, full of changes, chances, and challenges, appropriate choice has became a key factor that distinguishes exceptional individuals from ordinary people, and its significance has became increasingly evident.

In brief, appropriate choice is the catalyst for societal and personal development, from which we all stand to benefit. There for, we should actively support and advocate this practice. Only by doing so can we develop individual potential and make our word shine with renewed brilliance.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： on the road

批改：改为 at the crossroads of life 更形象

原文：going to foreign coutries, and being a boss

批改：此处表达太口语化，改为 going abroad and starting a business 更精确

原文：postgraduate

批改：不能申请一类人，改为 postgraduate programs

原文：for

批改：seek 是及物动词，后面直接加宾语，不需要 for

原文：coutries

批改：注意拼写 countries

原文：they are our dreams

批改：此处为名词短语，且主题词结合中间段的表达可改为 making an appropriate choice

原文： play

批改：动名词作主语，此处要用三单形式，改为 plays

批改：图画的表达要精确，不能太口语化，且主题词要选择合适

批改：语法正确

原文：good and appropriate dreams

批改：主题词写为 改为 making an appropriate choice 更合适

原文：creatiuty

批改：creativity

原文：meaningful

批改：加逗号

原文：,

批改：删去

原文：became

批改：become 的过去分词仍然是 become

原文： became

批改：become 的过去分词仍然是 become

原文：appropriate choice

批改：改为 making an appropriate choice

批改：内容表达不错，也比较具体，但是自己在写得时候，注意全篇的主题词要保持一致

原文：appropriate choice

批改：改为 making an appropriate choice

原文：There for

批改：Therefore

原文：word

批改：world

批改：结尾段内容表达很好

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：13分/ 20分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，表明的个人观点与图画的内容是贴合的

语言表达：存在几处语法和拼写问题，词汇表达不错，一些句式表达也很好

结构逻辑：文章的结构完整清晰，内容也比较丰富具体，但是主题词全文要保持一致，且主题词的表达一定要精确

修改建议：1. 语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改 2.拼写要细心 3. 主题词全文要保持一致，且主题词的表达一定要精确，之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，提高自己的表达，加油！

读懂范文只是第一步，写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务，由资深讲师逐句点评，让你清晰掌握考研英语写作模板写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考，从一篇专业批改开始。