本文将启航教育一对一批改过的2011年考研英语一高分范文进行公开呈现。批改老师对文中每一个失分细节进行了精确标注，对照考研英语作文批改热点话题与评分细则，你可以快速了解考研英语写作的提分方向。

一、考研英语一2011年大作文题目

考研英语一2011年大作文Directions:Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drawing. In your essay, you should1) describe the drawing briefly,2) explain its intended meaning, and3) give your comments.You should write neatly on ANSWER SHEET 2. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2011年大作文批改例文

请在各题目的答题区域内作答,超出答题区的答案无效 Section I Writing Part B

52. As shown in the cartoon, there are two men sitting at the boat, enjoying the scenery and throwing rubbish into river, which makes water very dirty. Evidently, the cartoon intends to convey to readers that protect the enviroment that can exert a great influence both in our personal lives and in society.

This phenomenon is thought-provoking in several ways, but two of them are particularly significant, First and foremost protect the enviroment holds exceptional significance for a nation, as it safeguarding public health, further propelling social stability and sustainable development. what is more, Neglecting protect enviroment is like a heavy chain that our nation’s progress. Tragically, although the lack of clear rules and regulations., its root cause lies in the fact that Some individuals, their neglect the proctct enviroment.

How can we put an end to the problem of protect enviroment? It is suggested by many that we need a package deal, including enhance super-vision and issue yalated laws, But would these measures be comprehensive enough? In reality, we also need to do sth. with the support of these measures, we can effectively tackle the issue at its core.

请在各题目的答题区域内作答,超出答题区的答案无效

第4页(共4页)

三、考研英语作文批改

原文：at

批改：改为 on 更合适

原文：protect the enviroment that

批改：此处整个部分为从句的主语，动词原形不能做主语，且注意拼写，改为 protecting the environment

批改：开头段表达不错，清晰地阐述了图画内容, 表达的主题和图画也是贴合的

原文：,

批改：此处为句号

原文： foremost

批改：加逗号

原文：protect the enviroment

批改：改为 protecting the environment

原文：safeguarding

批改：缺少动词，改为 can safeguard

原文：what

批改：首字母大写

原文：Neglecting

批改：此处首字母不大写

原文：protect enviroment

批改：此处为名词，改为 environmental protection

原文：that

批改：从句缺少动词，改为 that hinders

批改：although 加的是完整的句子，改为 might contribute to this phenomenon

原文：Some

批改：此处首字母不大写

原文： their neglect the proctct enviroment

批改：缺少谓语动词，改为 in their pursuit of economic interests, have disregarded the importance of protecting the environment

批改：内容表达不错，多注意语法问题

原文：protect enviroment

批改：of 后面加动词的ing 形式，改为 protecting the environment

原文： enhance

批改：including 是介词，后面要用动词的ing形式，改为 enhancing

原文：issue

批改：改为 issuing

原文：yalated

批改：related

原文：,

批改：此处为句号

原文：do sth

批改：此处要表达完整，具体做什么

原文：with

批改：首字母大写

批改：多注意语法问题

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：13分/20分

题目要求：总体上来说是切题的，表明了个人观点，和图画的内容很贴合

语言表达：存在一些语法和拼写错误，词汇表达不错，一些句式也很好

结构逻辑：文章的结构完整清晰，内容也比较丰富具体

修改建议：1. 语法问题结合作文批注仔细修改 2.拼写要细心 3. 标点使用和首字母大小写要规范。之后可以多积累素材，自己多练练句子，进一步丰富自己的句式和观点储备，提高自己的语言表达，试着多用自己的话来写，加油！

读懂范文只是第一步，写出高分作文才是关键。启航教育提供考研英语作文免费批改服务，由资深讲师逐句点评，让你清晰掌握考研英语作文批改写作锦囊的核心要点。2027考研英语备考，从一篇专业批改开始。