作为考研英语备考的核心模块，2021年考研英语二大作文承载了大量学生的提分期待。本文带来的这篇批改例文，紧扣考研英语二作文真题常见话题，由启航教育资深英语教研团队逐句批改，详细标注语法、词汇与逻辑三大失分点，是考研英语写作提分的优质资料。

一、2021年考研英语二大作文题目

考研英语二2021年大作文48. Directions: Write an essay based on the chart below. In your writing, you should1) interpret the chart, and 2)give your comments. You should write about 150 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (15 points)

二、2021年考研英语二大作文批改例文

The bar chart clearly depicts the way of inhabitants exercise in a certain city. The percentage of exercising alone was 54.3%, the percentage of being with friends was 47.7%, the percentage of being with families was 23.9% and group activities was 15.8%.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, health is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of indviduals have started paying more attention to health. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

What about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of exercising alone will steadily increase in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文： bar chart clearly depicts the way of inhabitants exercise in a certain city. The percentage of exercising alone was 54.3%, the percentage of being with friends was 47.7%, the percentage of being with families was 23.9% and group activities was 15.8%.

批改：本段准确地列出了图表中的所有数据，完成了核心任务

原文：core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances, health is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long run. In addition, as we all know, the outbreak of COVID-19 has impacted every aspect of our lives, significantly altering people"s behaviors and choices. Consequently, an increasing number of indviduals have started paying more attention to health. Considering these factors, the depicted phenomenon in the chart is unsurprising.

批改： 你从社会压力（changes, challenges）和新冠疫情两个宏观角度分析原因，思路很好

原文： about future trends? I am confident that the proportion of exercising alone will steadily increase in the following decades.

批改：本段对未来趋势做出了明确的预测

原文：e reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, challenges, and chances,

批改：ndviduals-> individuals（拼写修正）

四、考研英语作文评分

得分：12

同学，你的作文结构清晰，要点齐全，并且能够联系现实（如疫情）进行分析，这非常棒！当前的主要提升空间在于增强论述的针对性和深度。

紧扣数据特征展开分析：在分析原因时，可以优先解释图表中最突出的现象（例如，为什么“独自运动”的比例远高于其他方式），而不仅仅是泛泛谈论“人们更关注健康了”。这样能让你的分析更加切题。

优化段落内部逻辑：在提出观点（如对未来的预测）后，尝试补充一句简单的理由，使论证更充分。

丰富句式变化：在描述数据时，可以尝试使用不同的句式和词汇（如account for, constitute, rank the first等），避免重复，让语言表达更显灵活。

读完本文，你对2021年考研英语二大作文的考研英语二作文真题写作思路是否有了更清晰的把握？启航教育为2027考研人整理的考研英语写作高分资料包，包含近年真题、高分模板、热点话题预测，在线咨询即可免费领取。