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考研英语一2024年大作文实例分析与批改

备战2024年考研英语大作文,先从研读经典高分范文开始。本文汇集的启航教育批改范文中,不仅有原文、批注,还有词汇注释与亮点解析。准备2027考研的同学,可联系启航教育在线咨询考研英语一写作高分规划。

一、考研英语一2024年大作文题目

考研英语一2024年大作文Directions:Write an essay based on the picture and the chart below. In your essay, you should 1) describe the picture and the chart briefly, 2) interpret the implied meaning, and 3) give your comments. Write your answer in 160-200 words on the ANSWER SHEET. (20 points)

二、考研英语一2024年大作文批改例文

In the left-hand cartoon, there are people running in the park, while a boy is looking them and saying "Wow! the environment of the new park is very beautiful!" On the contrary, in the right-hand chart, the bar chart clearly depicts the number of parks during these years. In 2020, the number of parks was 406, but by 2022, this figure had gradually risen to 670. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that with the ropid growth of society, the chances of relaxed our selfies are increasing.

The core reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with more material satisfaction, the also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why our goverment has made tremendous efforts to build a sound funcy system. In addition, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, chances and challenges, funcy is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long turn.

What about future trends? I am confident that the number of parks is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following decades.

三、考研英语作文批改

原文:e left-hand cartoon, there are people running in the park, while a boy is looking them and saying "Wow! the environment of the new park is very beautiful!" On the contrary, in the right-hand chart, the bar chart clearly depicts the number of parks during these years. In 2020, the number of parks was 406, but by 2022, this figure had gradually risen to 670. Evidently, the cartoonist intends to convey to readers that with the ropid growth of society, the chances of relaxed our selfies are increasing.

批改:你准确地描述了两幅图的内容并提炼了核心信息,这很好

原文:s looking them and saying "Wow! the environment of the new park is very beautiful!" On the contrary, in the right-hand chart, the bar chart clearly depicts the number of parks during these y

批改:"looking them" 缺少介词,应为 "looking at them"。 直接引语中 "the environment" 首字母应大写 "The"。 "On the contrary" 使用不当,此处并非转折关系,而是补充信息,建议改为 "Meanwhile" 或 "In the corresponding chart"。

原文:e bar chart clearly depicts the number of parks during these years. In 2020, the number of parks was 406, but by 2022, this figure had gradually risen to 670. Evidently, the cartoonist intends

批改:"the bar chart clearly depicts" 与前文 "in the right-hand chart" 略有重复,可简化为 "the bar chart shows"。 "ropid" 拼写错误,应为 "rapid"。 "the chances of relaxed our selfies" 表意不清且存在语法错误,推测想表达“放松身心的机会”,可改为 "opportunities for relaxation and leisure"。

原文:ore reasons for the observed phenomenon can be summarized as follows. To start with, in the wake of the high-speed advancement of society, people are no longer content with more material satisfaction, the also pursue spiritual enjoyment. This explains why our goverment has made tremendous efforts to build a sound funcy system. In addition, an increasing number of young people believe that in modern society full of changes, chances and challenges, funcy is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long turn.

批改::你从社会需求和个人认知两个层面分析原因,思路是正确的

原文:he also pursue spiritual en

批改:"the also pursue" 中存在拼写错误,应为 "they also pursue"。 "goverment" 拼写错误,应为 "government"。 "funcy" 这个词在英语中不存在,根据上下文推测你想表达“休闲娱乐”,正确词汇是 "leisure" 或 "recreation"。

原文:ll of changes, chances and challenges, funcy is indispensable if they wish to achieve success in the long tu

批改:"in the long turn" 是错误搭配,正确短语是 "in the long run"。

原文:bout future trends? I am confident that the number of parks is a clear sign of social improvement and will steadily increase in the following decades.

批改:你对未来趋势做出了明确乐观的预测,并提升了立意

四、考研英语作文评分

得分:15

总评:

你的作文结构完整,能够理解图表信息并尝试从不同角度分析问题,这体现了你积极思考的能力。当前,影响你有效表达和得分的主要障碍在于两个方面:一是核心词汇的严重错误,导致文章主题偏离;二是部分逻辑链条不够紧密。

修改建议

我注意到“休闲娱乐”这个核心概念的英文表达遇到了一些困难。它的正确说法是 "leisure" 或 "recreation"。建议你在动笔前,先确保文章核心词的英文是准确的。你可以准备一个主题词清单,比如“公园 park”、“休闲 leisure”、“政府 government”等,在写作时参考。先保证核心概念的准确,这是现阶段取得进步最有效的方法。请继续保持练习!

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